Kelly Clarkson is my anti-drug.

Things of import.

2010-02-22T09:42:00Z

Attack of the Yeti Hand is finally on line and available to view!

Attack of the Yeti Hand (2009) from Karyn Ben Singer on Vimeo.

I am about to begin shooting my second feature film, Javatown, on March 3.

Javatown Promo from Karyn Ben Singer on Vimeo.

Javatown Cast Field Trip from Karyn Ben Singer on Vimeo.

If you're not watching Glee, you're not watching the best new show of the year. But this post is not about that.

2009-11-19T21:54:00Z

Finally, an update.

Things of Joy

Attack of the Yeti Hand is officially listed on imdb.com. This also means that I, Karyn Ben Singer, and officially listed on imdb.com. This ALSO means that I have accomplished something on my Life List of Things to Accomplish. The last time I accomplished something on this list was “get my work mentioned in Entertainment Weekly” which happened with the Contemptuous Sardonic Felicity Watchers Society. Actually, “Make a Damn Movie” is on the list, so technically THAT is the most recent.

In regard to making movies, there's a rant I go on every so often, usually preceded by someone making asinine comments about someone else's work. And the commenter usually has no experience in doing the work they feel the need to criticize. This is one downside to the internet. Everyone can voice their opinion and feel justified in their remarks, even if they're full of crap. So, let me clear some things up. And my internet opinion is valid because this is my blog and I am the boss of it.

It takes a lot of work to make a movie. Even a bad one. Even if you're sitting in a theater and cursing the eleven dollars you just spent on your ticket, plus the other twelve you spend on popcorn, Coke, and Jujubees. Even then, a team of people spent hours, days, weeks and month (sometimes, years) putting together the flicking image you're ready to write off as drivel. And some of it rightfully is crap. Sure.

Look, I'm not in love with Transformers. Not even if you put Megan Fox in it. (Though, I do have a creepy cougar crush on Shia, but who doesn't?) I think it started out as one movie and them became an entirely different movie that forgot the first part of the movie ever existed. I mean, whatever happened to the hot Australian girl and Tom Lenk? No one knows.

But, people are proud of the work they put into that movie. And they should be. It made a frillion dollars. Also, don't think I disliked the movie because I'm pretentious and hate Michael Bay. Far from it. I CRY LIKE A BABY during Armageddon. I won't lie.

Another annoyance I have is harsh critical opinions of actor's performances from PEOPLE WHO DON'T ACT. Lesson number one about acting: ACTING IS HARD WORK. It's not just standing in front of a camera and making things up. Unless you're in a Christopher Guest movie. Or the Blair Witch Project. And I suddenly now wish Christopher Guest would do a Blair Witch Project type project.

If you are watching the television or movie screen and the person on it seems like they are just talking,like a regular person, to someone else, THEY ARE A GOOD ACTOR. Granted, there are a ton of nuances and methods and interpretations that we, as the movie-going public, can agree or disagree over. But I don't think most of said public truly realizes how much an actor works just to appear natural.

Film acting is, to me, a much more difficult craft than stage acting. Actors generally aren't working with the arc of the story behind them. They're shooting out of sequence, doing the same scene over and over, while trying to maintain the freshness of the lines. They're breaking for lunch,then coming back and jumping right into a scene about their dead grandmother or first love or ninja assassins. On top of the character work and lines, they have to remember where they're supposed to stand, what their range of motion (and emotion) is, and pretend that there isn't a camera and thirty-five people standing around them.

If you have any interest in the filmmaking process, even if you're just an avid fan, I seriously suggest trying to work as an extra for at least one day. Or try to visit a film set. Because then you will see, first hand, just how much labor goes into even the most mediocre projects.

And, maybe a project is mediocre because it's someone's early work. Maybe they're looking to learn and grow. Maybe they know it's mediocre. But maybe they're proud of the milestone, the getting it done. That alone, that determination and drive and desire to simply get it done, puts them ahead of all the critical dreamers who can't seem to get off their butts.

So, this, I suppose is actually a response to anyone who might be critical of my work. Because, after all, I am in show business and, therefore, make must everything about me. But I know where I stand. I know what I've done.

And I know what I'm going to do.

The Final Desecration

2009-09-13T18:13:00Z

I was introduced to the Final Destination franchise via DVD rental. When the first film hit the video stores, I took it home and watched it, alone. It was a thrill;part mystery, part horror, all fun. This was early in the life of my original DVD player and the concept of being about to watch original endings and cast commentaries was fresh and new and exciting.

Through all these bonus features, I learned that Final Destination wasn't meant to be an open-ended leadin to a multiple film franchise. It was a single story that suggested death can be defeated by new life.

But that, apparently, was not what test audiences wanted. And, instead, we've been treated to a series ofmore and more elaborate death scenes, each less likely than the last.

The reason the original film stuck with me was because the deaths were based around phobias and urban legend. The chain of events that led to them were somewhat simple, perhaps being nudged by the hand of Death, but just a touch.

The latest installment has Death slapping everyone on the back like a drunk friend at a party. “Check this one out!” Death shouts, then sloshes beer all over your new sofa.

There is the reasonable argument that The Final Destination serves as a spoof of its predecessors. The carnage is comparable to a Tarantino film, while the script reads like a first year screenwriting student's rejected pages that were recycled into the printer and then accidentally flipped over and submitted as Final Destination 4.

There are nods to the original film,including a shout out to Clear Rivers, but they only made me realize how long we've been beating a dead franchise. The first time around, the idea that a group of people escaped death, only to have it chase them down, engaged the audience. We didn't know if everyone would die or if they might break the chain or what was even causing it all to happen in the first place.

Three installments later and the mystery is gone. The plot is simply a redundant, “OMG, death is coming! Ihad a vision!” Apparently, none of the forty-three million dollar budget was spared on additional writers.

Instead it went to some of the most elaborate and inventive death scenes in the series. This is where the 3D makes the movie (and also allows “3D” to double in meaning as three dollars, the additional cost to one's ticket). Explosions and protrusions abound and, to be fair, the technology is used well and makes for a fun romp. But, in the end, all the in-your-face gore proves to gross out more than scare.

It's hard to be genuinely terrified when the scenes are comparable to an action movie. I still have vivid memory of certain death scenes from the first and second films,because they frightened me. I am, to this day, nervous driving behind a tractor trailer carrying large logs. And I've always had a bit of an airplane phobia, which is likely why the original film has remained with me for so long.

This latest film leaves too much to chance and features an industrial fan blowing a loaded flat bed cart across a room. It's, as one of my movie going companions said, like a game of Mousetrap. Only with combustibles.

Speaking of which, why would anyone store multiple drums of “Spontaneously Combustible” (yes, they were labeled) materials in a movie theater?

Overall, it was fun in the moment, but not memorable over time.

And, if you really want to be disturbed about someone getting stuck on a pool drain, read Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk. THAT will stick with you.

An open letter and then more ranting.

2009-09-09T04:31:00Z

Dear Parents Who Opted Their Kids Out of the President's Student Address Speech,

I hope you all feel like paranoid assholes. Because, in case you're still hiding under that rock to avoid any Obamanisms that might trickle down your ear canal, the speech was about STAYING IN SCHOOL. Oh, and GETTING AN EDUCATION.

No love,

KBS

Okay, I'll reel it in for a moment. I'm sure I sound harsh. But you know what? I'm tired hanging back and watching the Conservative Shout About that happens every time something “controversial” pops up. I'm tired of passively deleting what I consider to be offensive email FWDs about replacing the Statue of Liberty's torch with a chicken leg. I'm tired of the Obama/Hitler Photoshopping being done in the name of Healthcare.

I'm tired of the crap.

So, seriously, all you parents who were terrified that Obama was about to unleash Hitler Youth 2.0 during today's address, do you feel like ignorant sheep? Do you even see how ridiculously you've behaved? Do you realize that your behavior is an example of the 1984 future you're afraid of? Do you even know what I'm talking about when I say “1984 Future”?

Turn off the damn Fox News. Turn it all off. The flat screen, the DVR, the satellite receiver, the Xbox, the HD radio, the modem... turn 'em all off. And take a moment. Just you and your thoughts. And THINK. Think about your future. If you have kids, think about their future.

What do you want? And don't worry about what Glenn Beck or Bill O'Reilly or Anne Coulter or Rachel Maddow or Stephen Colbert or Jon Stewart or anyone else told you that you want. What do YOU want? What do YOU need?

Once you figure that out, take the next step to think about how to get those things done.

Whatever it is, whatever you want or need for your future and your children's future, it's going to take time, it's going to take money, and it's going to take work. If you want to see change, you are going to have to be willing to contribute some of that time, money, and work at some level.

And if the change you want is in exact opposition to what the President proposes, that's fine. That's your American right. But be educated. If you're opposing a bill, read the text. If it's a lengthy bill, say around 1200 pages, try to find an unbiased Cliff's Notes version. OR, be a star and read the whole thing. How hot would you be at the next party? Seriously, even if we're on opposite sides of the issue, I'd have to buy you a drink, because that is impressive. And, it shows just how dedicated you are.

Which brings me back around to my original point: Don't be a sheep. Educate yourself from a legitimate and reliable source.

Education. It'll get you places. Just a little something I picked up from a speech I heard once.

Me and Emmylio down by the schoolyard. Or, How the Emmys Punched Me in the Face.

2009-08-05T18:48:05Z

I case you're not BFFs with Felicia Day on Twitter, you may not have yet heard about the changes being made to the Emmy Telecast. In short, they're pre-taping certain segments that they may be edited and trimmed down in order to "streamline" the broadcast, thus leaving more airtime for "entertainment".

The show's producer, Don Mischer, and host, Neil Patrick Harris issued a response explaining the need for such changes, the main point being that they want to entertain the viewership.

This suggests that writers are not worthy of the viewership. This suggests that writers are boring, that they hold no interest with the public. That time Tina Fey told her dweeby interweb critics to "suck it"? Super boring. Nobody even remembered that the next day. Oh, no wait. They did.

Writers make this business go 'round. Even reality television employs writers to help construct story elements that enable viewers to become more invested in the shows. Actors do not just show up on set and make up their lines. Directors do not simply tell the actors what the story is and guide them through it. They work with scripts. Those scripts are written by writers.

If you love shows like Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, True Blood, Veronica Mars, 30 Rock, Better Off Ted, Friends, Seinfeld, Will & Grace, Law & Order, Burn Notice, The Sopranos, Sex in the City... then you, friend, are a fan of great writing.

If the public viewership doesn't care about writers, it's only because writers are consistently pushed below the radar where they're expected to produce great works for everyone else to use. It's somewhat akin to being the smart kid on the playground, consistently approached to do everyone else's homework, but never invited to eat lunch with the other kids.

If the concern is one of streamlining, why not tape the entire show or run it on some kind of longer delay? Better yet, LEAVE THE SHOW ALONE. If it's too streamlined, when will we have time to use the bathroom or get up for another beer?

Personally, I don't watch the Emmys or Oscars or any award show for the entertainment acts that come between the awards. I watch it FOR the awards. And, as a writer, I want to see my colleagues LIVE and IN REAL TIME waiting and hoping and winning and crying and accepting, just like everyone else.

(If you're into the Twitter, in support of this movement, please use hashtag #emmysfail today)

Weekend Recap

2009-06-15T18:42:00Z

I am back from my weekend at the Broad Humor Film Festival. I learned a lot and saw some great films.

The weekend proved to be a combination of high energy "industry" moments, and laid back conversation. It was a great introduction to the festival circuit, because it wasn't a heavy competition atmosphere, but did give a tiny taste of what to expect at other events.

I also met a few cool people. Now, I'm am TERRIBLE at networking just for the sake of networking. If people want to ask me what I'm working on or what my film is about, no problem. But I can't just jump in to a cold conversation and pitch myself.

I can, however, get geeky and fangirl over excellent television shows, which is what I did with the fabulous Julie Gray, founder of The Script Department. She writes The Rouge Wave, which is one of the most informative and probably important blogs for screenwriters. Also, she loves Battlestar Galactica AND she got into it late like I did.

Julie, along with long time in-demand Hollywood script consultant Laura Shapiro, hosted an extremely informative panel about writers and the industry. This was definitely one of the highlights of the weekend.

I was also able to chat with a few fellow filmmakers, particularly a very hilarious pair of ladies with a webseries called Apt45. The series follows the lives of Ileana and Erica, the former playing the straight “man” to the latter's antics. Plots revolve around acting classes and auditions, grocery shopping and to-do lists. Don't let the simplicity fool you, this stuff is laugh out loud funny and won the audience award at the festival.

Here's the first episode.

Progress.

2009-06-12T06:47:00Z

So, I'm sitting here, planning my weekend, which centers around my movie showing at a film festival.

Less than a month ago, someone told me my movie was a horrible embarrassment. The next day, I showed it to a class full of high school students, who loved it. Not three days later, I got the call that said it was accepted to the festival. This Sunday, there was a three quarter page interview about myself and the movie in the local paper.

I've encountered some friction with this project, and I understand some, if not all of it. It's not a masterpiece. It's not going to change the face of cinema. It's weird. And, in parts, it serves just to make me, and possible only me, laugh.

But it's done. Start to finish. And I can say I've done it and move on to the next thing. That's what this whole project was about, learning and doing and having a good time.

I'm ready for the next one.

The one thing Diablo and I agree on and other bits of joy.

2009-05-20T23:49:00Z

Glee is a good time. Diablo Cody and I both stamp it with a seal of approval.
So, one of the reasons someone didn't like this was "stereotypes dating back to the 80's". ALL THE WAY TO THE 80's. I think they probably date back to the beginning of the high school dynamic. Or the beginning of time.

But stereotypes exist because they're true. Not all the time. But enough of the time to be recognized.

I really enjoyed this show. It's fun. And the music is pure liquid joy.

Yes, high school shows have been done before. Yes' we've seen the unpopular rise above the popular. But, you know what? High school is the same as it always has been. Sure, certain things change, but every four years, a new group of kids endure what, to them, is a brand new experience.

So, I welcome yet another telling of the same old high school story.

It's okay to just sit back and have a good time. Seriously. It feels nice.

Also, this morning I learned that ABC is remaking V. If you don't know V, you don't know epic 80's sci-fi. Oh, and they're remaking it with Morena Baccarin. If you don't know Morena Baccarin, you don't know epic 2000's sci-fi. The original V miniseries was something we had on tape that I watched whenever I was home on a sick day.

Things of note and joy.

2009-02-27T02:29:00Z

A) Yesterday, I converted my computer to Ubuntu. If you know what this means, then I need not explain. If you don't, just know that I'm no longer under the thumb of Bill Gates and I didn't need to hide behind Steve Jobs to do it (even though I heart my iPhone, Steve).

2) The Attack of the Yeti Hand screening was packed with about 80 people. Everyone seemed to genuinely have a good time and laughed in all the right places.

d) If you bounce on over to Blog of the Yeti Hand you will see a donate button. All donations received through that fancy little button will be used toward festival fees, DVD duplication costs, and anything else that demands a mighty dollar as I try to show y kooky little film to as many people as possible.

Yay, internets.

Diablo me.

2009-01-17T22:06:00Z

I only ever venture onto the imdb.com boards if I'm looking to be excruciatingly frustrated at the masses of uneducated armchair critics. But, sometimes, I join the fray.

kben on Diablo Cody

You can't please 'em all.

2009-01-17T19:08:00Z

As of this writing, Attack of the Yeti Hand is in the late stages of post-production. The rough cut is finished, refinements are in process, and excitement builds. At least for me.

In the course of this production, I've encountered three specific criticisms. Granted, I expect them. I shot a feature length movie in eight days on a budget of two-thousand dollars. It doesn't sound like the recipe for the biggest summer blockbuster. But that's not what I set out to do. I wrote a screenplay I knew I could shoot quickly and cheaply. I chose a genre that praises goofs and gaffes. I knew, going in, what would come out. And, actually, I'm pleasantly surprised.

However, apparently, not everyone understands just what it is I'm trying to do.

During pre-production, I heard that I couldn't possibly make this happen on the budget I'd laid out. During production, I heard that I couldn't possibly be getting all the footage I needed in such short days on such a short schedule. And now, during post-production, I just heard that I couldn't possibly have a final product was any good.

Some of this is hearsay, some of it was said directly to me. All of it is speculation.

What really irks me is that some of this negative feedback came directly from people involved in the production. People I included because it wouldn't have felt right without them. Then again, this is part of the learning curve. Actors are a weird and fickle bunch. I know, because I'm one of them. But it still would be nice to know they have faith in the project.

That being said, other people have been so grateful and excited to even be a part of the movie. And they're the people I'll work with again. Because, I will be doing this again. With more money and more experience.

Listen, plenty of people have blown huge budgets on bad movies. I've paid good money to see many of them. This was my first feature. It was the first time I assembled a crew (as teeny tiny as it was) and a cast and laid out a schedule and called the shots and sat with an editor and made a movie. I was never expecting to land on the AFI Top 100 with Attack of the Yeti Hand.

What I do know? It's funny. It's entertaining. It's watchable. Because, while I wasn't expecting to knock Hancock 2 out of the box office, I did aim to create something fun. And to learn. Which I did. A lot.

And, at the end of the day? I know I made a movie, start to finish, no matter how badly it might be received.

New for 2009!

2009-01-02T00:07:00Z

Virtual Yeti

2008-11-30T08:16:00Z

I updated the Yeti Hand web page over at obscurely irrelevant dot com.

Ataque de la Mano Yeti That's Spanish, kids!

Nano y nano.

2008-11-22T20:16:00Z

I'd like to give a big thank you to everyone who donated to send me to the Night of Writing Dangerously. We raised over $25,000 for The Office of Letters and Light, which heads up such fantastic and fun programs for writers of all ages.

Writing is how I spent most of my childhood, even if I always didn't put it down on paper. My parents divorced so early in my life that I have no actual recollection of them ever being married. And I can remember pretty far back. I think my earliest memories kick in around age two.

Anyway, because of the divorce, I have the distinction of being both an older and an only child. Even the "older" element didn't come into play until I was eleven. So, I spent a lot of time alone. Not the I didn't have friends, but, I was a shy kid, not the type to pounce on the neighbor hood and see what there was to do. I went through a lot of books. In kindergarten, I already knew how to read. I remember sitting in the reading circle, and whenever a word would come up in the picture books, my teacher would have me read it. Which was a catch 22, because I wanted something to do, but I was painfully shy.

Example: When I took my kindergarten entrance test, I wouldn't speak. I'd only nod or shake yes or no. People scared me. Once I warmed up, I was a chatterbox, but at initial contact I was nothing but wide eyes and silence.

So, a quiet shy childhood leads to time alone. That is, enjoyed time alone. Even now, I love having a chance to just be by myself, at home or out on the town. I know people who can't function by themselves, who need constant companionship. When I had multiple roommates, I just about went insane. I couldn't write. I couldn't focus. Something was constantly afoot.

But back in the days of my youth, things were quiet. Especially when my dad moved way out to the edge of town, a good twenty minutes from the heart of civilization. We lived on an old ranch where several of the old buildings still stood, including the barn. I was too afraid of black widows and rotted wood to venture too deeply, but just the imagery fueled my imagination. But I didn't need always ancient buildings. Even at my mom's house, with cable television and Nintendo, I'd still find time to lock myself away with a monstrous pile of Legos and just build. Forests, racetracks, fast food joints, lunar landing sites. And this is when Lego only offered a handful of themed sets, and definitely before they branched out into Star Wars. The fanciest Lego head in my collection was the pirate, because he had an eye patch. Maybe a beard. Occasionally, you might get a lady with lips. But everyone else was a yellow smiley head.

If there had been a program in place like the Young Writer's Program, I would have been head over heels. And that's where part of this fundraising money went. The people behind The Office of Letters and Light are people who love writing. They're people who revel in creativity and believe that everyone should be able to tap in and experience the joy of creating something, just for the heck of it.

The Night of Writing Dangerously was a blast. Two hundred people, gathered together for the sake of writing. Not for profit, not for work, but for fun. Two years ago, they filed for non-profit status, so there are also corporate sponsors. This meant we scored tons of free goodies (some of which I could tell were leftovers from previous years, but still, free!). Books, tote bags, t-shirts, a fancy flashing decidertron (it's something like a Magic 8 ball). They fed us an awesome dinner. And there was free beer. That, friends, is what it's all about.

And, to cap it all off, I won one of the raffles. An orange iPod Nano. So, that basically paid for the drive to San Francisco.

To those who supported me, thanks for letting me be part of something awesome. And thanks for supporting what I consider to be a great cause.

Obama pwns.

2008-11-22T20:02:00Z

Finally, a president who understands our plight.

NY Times article about Obama, his Blackberry, and giving up his e-mail addiction to lead the free world.

And a response to the above article.

Muy importante.

2008-10-29T17:04:00Z

Look to the left. At the box. About the fundraising.

Now, listen:

So, every year, I do this thing where I try to write a novel in November. Well, THIS year presents a swell opportunity to not only get it done, but to share in the experience with other writers.

This is my fundraising page for National Novel Writing Month's November Write-a-thon. It's like a Walk-a-Thon or Marathon or any other kind of Thon. But with writing.

On November 15th, I'll be joining more than 100 authors at the SomArts Cultural Center in San Francisco. Our goal: Write as much of our novels (did I mention I'm writing a novel this November?) as possible over six hours of food, drinks, and fun.

All the money I raise will go directly to the Office of Letters and Light, whose free programs such as National Novel Writing Month inspire tens of thousands of kids, teens, and adults to write books every year. They also supply classrooms with word processors for these programs, and kids love the chance to tell their own stories.

If you feel so moved, you can donate to my cause via that little box. I'd appreciate it. And a bunch of other people would, too.

Attack

2008-10-28T07:27:00Z

of the Yeti Hand

Diablo Deathmatch

2008-09-26T04:45:00Z

I think I hate Diablo Cody. Key word, here? Think.

I can't be sure. Because, when I look at Diablo Cody, I see someone who has made the same accomplishments I'm shooting for. She wrote a great little movie. She won an Oscar. She appears on those little clip shows where you get to be witty and fun and make fun of popular culture.

I AM Diablo Cody. Only, I'm not. And this is why I hate her.

I could have been a stripper. When I was seventeen, I briefly considered it as a future occupation. Diablo Cody went for it. And wrote a book. And then a movie. And won an award.

Maybe this is just jealousy. I've been seriously writing screenplays and short fiction for over a decade. I've been THIS CLOSE to landing deals. I've had an agent. I've been in magazines. I've done work that's been recognized by others in The Business. I know people who know people. Heck, I know People. But it really does just boil down to dumb luck.

And, when I see Diablo Cody on The Breakfast Club Flashback Edition documentary, I really do think how it could easily be me. The stuff she's saying, I could be saying. If her imdb.com page is correct, we're the same age. Which, by the way, is how I know she can't possibly remember the actual impact of the film of teens of the time, because, Diablo, we were six years old. We were busy watching Muppet Babies and playing with Transformers.

I'm sure I will enjoy whatever future projects Diablo Cody brings us. I'm not doubting her abilities as a writer. I'm just not so sure she's any kind of prodigy wonder child.

Then again, I can't say I wouldn't be eating up whatever Hollywood threw at me if I were in her shoes and she were writing the exact same blog about me.

So, here's to you, Brook Busey, wherever you are.

Yay, it's time for politics.

2008-09-05T18:22:00Z

If we're supposed to rally behind McCain/Palin because she's a woman and lives close to Russia, I'd rather just vote for Obama because his wife looks kind of like Sigourney Weaver, so she has great alien policy experience.

And this is fun: <a href="http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13143.html">Why the Media Should Apologize to Sarah Palin</a>

And now, Jon Stewart.

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Kben's Big No

2008-08-05T22:37:00Z

Ever since I was a kid, I have had two very specific fears. One, that something so devastating would happen that it would be on every single channel at the same time. Two, that a volcano would just shoot up out of the earth close to where I live. Well, 9/11 took care of the first and now it looks like number two is toying with me. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!